Three Little Vampires
by BHancock
Summary: Sanji tells Nami a story. SaNa. Minor spoilers for Dressrosa arc.


**Three Little Vampires**  
Oneshot

"Nami-san."

A lilt in the cook's voice perked Nami's sleepy figure up. She'd been up all day drawing her maps, and it didn't help that she was on duty for watch tonight. Luckily, there was always him to lean on. A musky smell mixed with the scent of delicious food assaulted her nose, causing her to breathe in this mix of fragrances. Smiling, she set up the mini-table on the crow's nest, the place thankfully devoid of the smells of scent and metal ever since Zoro began using the air freshener.

"Here's your special lovely Shawarma Rice with orange puree."

Her dish was accompanied by a jug of warm water. Finding it strange, Nami turned to Sanji. "What's with the water tonight? Got no fancy drinks in store?" Sanji just inhaled and exhaled on his cigarette, careful to blow outside the window.

"If I made the drinks anything other than warm water, the subtle taste of the shawarma and rice combi, not to mention the sharp tang of the puree, will be canceled out by that drink," he explained, smoothing out his hair. "Of course, Nami-swan, I'll try to improve once more for you sake," he added in a half-joking tone.

Nami smiled in an incredulous way. She already felt that he was the greatest cook in the world. There was no reason for him to put himself down like that.

"Then, Sanji-kun, I want you to tell me story, if you want to improve on something," she offered. Maybe this could take his mind off things like putting himself down.

"Aye aye, Nami-swan," saluted Sanji in a comical way. "Just lemme think of something ... ah! I know." Sanji got three weights from the cabinet where Zoro usually kept them. "I title it, Three Little Vampires."

There were three vampire kids. They were friends, besties in fact. They were Ludward, Zorocula, and Sanosferatu. They played everyday, fought everyday, but they liked each other. However, there was a very big difference in the three kids' way of life.

Ludward belonged to the Cullens, a rich vampire family. Ludward had a ravenous appetite, and ate raw meat fresh off the killings every meal they had. Sanosferatu was a middle class vampire, and always drank blood off the raw steaks from the frozen section of the supermarket. Zorocula was the poorest of them three. Because all his head contained were swords and more swords, he didn't know how to work except being a mercenary. He had no stable income, so he was limited to sucking blood off used napkins in the trash.

One day Ludward got concerned about both his friends, so he invited them one time to his house to eat. Zorocula ate like a tiger, while Sanosferatu had the decency to eat properly with table manners. However, Ludward wasn't being his ravenous self. When asked, Ludward told them that he was bored of having raw meat every dinner. He wanted more.

Sanosferatu happened to be a good cook, so he whipped up lots of companion dishes for all of them to savor. Zorocula meanwhile, taught Ludward the importance of contentment and appreciation. Sanosferatu hated Zorocula's marimo brain, but deep down they both respected each other for what they brought to the table. In the end, Ludward was so thankful that he invited Zorocula to be his swordsman and Sanosferatu his cook, and set off to find other vampire kids to be their friends.

Nami stared down at the wooden floorboards. In the course of the story, Sanji had brought her some throw pillows, a blanket, and a hairbrush. He was brushing her orange locks during the course of the story after she had eaten, and because of it, she was feeling a bit drowsy. Hearing Sanji's footsteps ascend the ladder towards the crow's nest, she hugged the pillows and stared at a mirror not far from her location.

"You are a superb storyteller, Sanji-kun," she complimented while not looking at him. Gauging by his sheepish expression on the mirror, she decided Sanji felt good about it. However, his eyebrows suddenly taut themselves, and she saw his Adam's apple go up and down before assuming a neutral expression.

"Nami-swan, you shouldn't flatter me about things like that," laughed Sanji, his left hand covering his eye. "It's not true anyway. Loads of people are better on that. I know I'm better than Luffy and Chopper though, and that's saying something!"

A pillow struck Sanji's head, falling with a pomf onto the floor.

"Why are you always putting yourself down?!" said Nami, raging inside. "Do you have no pride? You're even starting to doubt your own cooking, even though we both know you haven't lost skill at it!" She took a few deep breaths, and in that interlude, Sanji remained silent, his blue eyes staring into Nami's orange orbs. "Are you trying to be Usopp before he changed after 2 years?" Frustrated, Nami closed her eyes, her burst of anger now slowly dissipating.

Sanji sat on the floor, cross-legged. Lighting another cigarette once more, he took a deep draft. Taking care to still release the smoke away from Nami, he scratched his head once. "It's been tough on me actually." Taking another deep draft he continued, "I always prided myself on giving excellent service to ladies all over. That was my philosophy, my kishido. But after that Okama hell, it seems like I've lost it."

Nami looked on as Sanji finished his cigarette rather faster than normal.

"Now, I can't look at ladies without getting a nosebleed," Sanji said, tapping his nose. "It seems like I can't feel passion for them too much, or else I'd lose lots. Chopper told me to take it easy, but I don't know what to do."

The navigator thought hard. "Aren't there any remedies for it?"

"None medicinal, and almost all of them are long term," quoted Sanji, hearing it from the doctor himself. "There's one possible short term remedy though, but I don't want to do it."

"Why not?" asked Nami, raising one brow. "If it makes you get better, why not do it?" She takes off her sandals, both of them plonking onto the wood.

"Here's the thing, Nami-san, on why I want to get cured fast," started Sanji. "We're in the New World now. There will be many stronger people in this part of the Grand Line. It includes women. Now, what if that woman is dangerous enough to take Franky out, yet cannot fight anyone except me because Luffy and the Marimo are busy by themselves?"

Nami couldn't believe what she was hearing. So Sanji really treated women as objects after all? "Well, me and the others will take her down. If it goes to the wire, me and Robin will handle what you cannot."

Sanji shook his head, clearly understanding of Nami's misconception. "No, Nami-san, it's a what-if situation. What if she's strong enough to take you guys out, and I'm the only one left able to handle her, yet I can't because of my nosebleed? We die, right?"

Nami slowly nodded, getting the scenario bit by bit.

"Chopper suggested that I concentrate my passion on one lady only," he explained once more, plowing on when he realized Nami got his meaning. "It means he wants me to be attracted to one lady only."

Nami's eyes widened. "So that means ... me?" Sanji smiled painfully.

"Oh how I wish, Nami-san," he ruefully remarked. "I tried setting my sights on Violet-chan on Dressrosa. I liked the feeling of genuinely falling in love, and having them reciprocated in return. No offense, but I really wasn't going anywhere with you, and it seemed that you weren't going to return them no matter what I did." He put one hand on his nape, rubbing it up and down. "I was going to confess to her when she suddenly turned allegiances; you know the rest." His eyes were downcast, clouded. "My heart was shattered, Nami-san."

"Um, why didn't you try getting over it by focusing on me once again?" asked Nami, genuinely confused on why he didn't do it. She could see the logic in falling for Violet; unless she joined the crew, which she didn't, then he could have seen her for only one time and be fine for the rest of the journey.

"Don't you get it, Nami-san?" whispered Sanji, his eyes glossing. "I loved you, and I still do. However, you would never return it. As long as I haven't a girl who does, I'll forever be a burden to this crew."

Sanji watched as Nami's face warped to ridiculous proportions.

"You didn't ask me if I did, you dimwit!"

Sanji wasn't convinced. "I don't want you doing this out of pity, Nami-san. You deserve someone better, and I'm not the right man for the job."

Nami's head was flying above the clouds. "Don't you see it, Sanji-kun?! All this time I thought you were just flirting with me, when you really loved me, as I do you!" Her sleepiness driven away, they were replaced by euphoria. "You think I don't notice all the little things you do for me?"

The cook was left stumped. He still couldn't put pieces together. "U-um, Nami-san, I was totally convinced you loved Luffy. I mean, let's take Arlong Park for example. Or what happened when you first escaped Shiki's fortress. I also didn't miss that neck Luffy wrapped around you, Nami-san."

She walked over to where Sanji was tinkering his brain, and hugged him from behind. "I know that you provide me with the best parts for the food. I know that you rescued me from that pervert Absalom. I know you always think about my well-being, and that your inclusion of Robin is only a half-truth, as she serves as cover for your true intentions as well as your kishido." Her arms tighten around his waist at the same time her heart constricts.

"I know that you protect my tangerines against Luffy's hands, and that you tidy up the map-making room whenever I fall asleep on the table. You close the windows to prevent the papers from flying away, yet open them just enough to let the air in."

Sanji pursed his lips, having nothing to offer.

"Luffy's gestures are what he'd do for any of his nakama. They're not romantic. Romantic gestures are what you do. What kind of woman falls in love with a friendly gesture as opposed to a romantic gesture?

"I love you too, Sanji-kun. It wouldn't make sense for me to love a guy who doesn't think about it," snickered Nami softly, releasing Sanji from her hold. "Girls don't love guys who don't work for love. Only hopeless romantics do that, and I don't believe you and I are."

Zoro would find the two of them cuddled together under one blanket in the morning, and drop a weight on the eyebrow's big toe. They would fight and bicker until Nami kicked their butts, but there was going to be a difference from then on.

Sanji would still feel the kiss she gave his cheek after she hit his head for being noisy.

**A/N:** Made at April 23, 2013.


End file.
